What Do They Look Like?

Russell turns four months old today!  Little D. (the baby we fostered three years ago) is 3 and 1/2 years old.  The last time we saw Russell he was two and a half weeks old.  The last time we saw Little D. he was seven months old.  We've had no contact with their families, and no updates or pictures.  I, of course, have pictures of Russell and Little D. during the time they were with us. 

Today my thoughts are with what they may look like now.  It has been three years since we've seen Little D., and I'm certain Russell has grown a lot in these three and a half months.  This is not at all the first time these thoughts have come to mind.  I'm sure it will not be the last.  I'm confident that these thoughts will cross my mind each and every day for the rest of my life!  Not only do I grieve not being mother to these two boys, I grieve not witnessing them growing up.  Yet, I know that seeing current photos would be a painful process for me as well.

 I also wonder what our future child will look like.  Will it be a boy or a girl?  From now on I will be using the pronoun "he."  This does not mean that I will only accept a son.  What color hair and eyes will he have?  What physical attributes of each birth parent will the child have?  I'm sure this is something all parents, both biological and adoptive, wonder.  We wish to maintain an open relationship with our child's birthparents.  Our child will know who they are and know of the sacrifice and love with which he or she was placed with us.  What physical characteristics of our child will be a daily reminder of the connection he has with his parents?

I'm not at all concerned that we will parent a child or children who may not look at all like us.  Carrying and giving birth to the child will forever connect our birthmother to the child.  I also know that giving birth is not what makes a person a parent.  Me being a mother will not at all be threatened by the child not physically looking like me or Mike.

I find it interesting what physical and personality traits I have in common with each of my parents.  My sister, Holly, has completely different traits in common with our parents than I do.  I have my Dad's face, but am built like my Mom.  Holly is the reverse.  I have my Dad's hands and my Mom's feet.  Holly has my Mom's hands and my Dad's feet.  My Dad and I have mutual interest in music and gardening.  My Mom and I both love tea, books, and history.  Holly has very different things in common with our parents.

Just as I wonder but don't care what our child will look like, I wonder what his interests will be.  Mike looks forward to sharing his interests in science, games, bowling, and more.  I look forward to sharing my interests in gardening, cooking, music, and more.  What interests and talents will he have?  We  will make it a point to support and encourage our child's interests and talents, no matter what they are.  It's just exciting to wonder what they will be.