The Call came before 8 a.m. on Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013. We were told that we had been chosen by a beautiful, strong, courageous, and brave birthmother to be adoptive parents to a baby girl due in March. From now on, for privacy sake, I will refer to the birthmother as G.
We had our first Facetime conversation with G. on Sunday, Decenber 22nd. She is lovely! She is beautiful both inside and out. G seems very sweet, smart, and has a strong head on her shoulders. The conversation went very smoothly and we are now communicating daily via e-mail and texts. G has a six year old daughter. She has shown us pictures of the absolutely gorgeous girl.
We are definitely planning on an open adoption with our daughter knowing the courageous sacrifice G will have made when placing her for adoption. We want our daughter to know her sister and other family. This is going to be a lifelong relationship we have with them. I'm grateful that we feel so comfortable and open communicating with each other. I have checked with G, and she has assured me that she's comfortable with me blogging, documenting, and sharing this journey.
We made the announcement of our expected bundle of joy to family and friends via Facebook on Christmas Day. It was our most sincere wish that this was the last Christmas without a child in our home. Our wish has been granted. Already I am thinking about how we may have to decorate differently next year with a nine month old crawling about. One year my mom actually had to put the Christmas tree in the playpen to keep my extremely active and mischievous little sister from pulling the tree down on top of herself or ruining all of the ornaments.
Mike and I spent a lovely Christmas together, just the two of us. We Facetimed with my family in California and Mike's family in Michigan. Mike's mom mentioned that they might come and spend next Christmas with us.
How do you say, "thank you" to someone for the greatest gift of all, that of parenthood? Adoption, no matter how smooth the relationship between birth and adoptive parents, comes with joys an challenges, rewards, and sacrifices. Our joy will come from G's sacrifice. Losing Russell is a grief that I will carry with me each and every day of my life. I will NEVER claim to know and understand all of G's feelings throughout this process. I do pray that our experience with grief and loss with allow us to more closely be able to comprehend and relate to some of G's possible feelings with placing her baby for adoption.
Russell's first birthday is March 27th, 2014. I know that it will be an extremely difficult day for me. The last time I saw him he was not yet 3 weeks old and I was strapping him in to a car seat and seeing him carried out our front door by a case worker on his way to live with his father.
Our daughter is due on March 19th. G is certain that the baby will come early, and upon further conversation, she told us that she guesses March 12th. March 12th, 2014 will be the tenth anniversary of the first date for me and Mike. Wouldn't that be incredible if the tenth anniversary of our first date is commemorated by the arrival of our daughter? This would also mean that the stinging pain of Rusell's first birthday will be experienced while holding my newborn daughter.
Right now I'm feeling very nesty. The nursery has what it needs in terms of crib, changing table, and dresser. I am someone who is so impatient when it comes to things like this. Once I have a goal in mind, I want it done and settled. We just have some further arranging and organization to do. I picture wooden letters with her name hung above the crib. Mike assembled a toy shelf/organizer last night. We'll probably keep it in the kitchen or livingroom, but it's one step closer to having things settled.
Mike's mom sent us a cute outfit for her. I'm just absolutely thrilled that there is now a tangible reason to be the recipient of baby clothes. Most of the few clothes that I have are boys things. I'm not at all worried about clothes for her. I have plenty of gender neutral sleepers for her for the beginning. Then, we can hopefully get some hand-me-downs and buy some clothes once we know her size and such. I picture some cute bows and headbands for her. We'll see if she'll keep them on. ;)
Last night Mike and I went to the Blossoms of Light at the Denver Botanic Gardens. I'd wanted to go ever since we moved to Colorado four years ago. We almost went last year when Mike's parents were visiting from Michigan, but the one night it worked out with our schedule, it was way too cold and none of us wanted to go out. The lights were beautiful! I'll share some photos, but I doubt any of them will do the sights any justice.
We have been put on hold with the second adoption agency we've been working with, and anytime after this adoption is finalized we can reactivate our profile and be put back on the books for a second adoption if we choose.
I came across this article about positive adoption language. I ask that our family and friends please read this. One way you can support us, G, and our daughter is by using positive adoption language.
We thank everyone for the incredibly overwhelming prayers, love, and support that are coming our way. This has definitely been a roller coaster journey of many years. It is so reassuring knowing that we are surrounded by such loving family and friends. Thank you! We are thrilled about this life altering event in our life. I firmly believe that the birth and placement of our daughter will not be the end of our Journey to Adoption, but actually, just the beginning!!!!!! :)