My Mom gave me a wonderful book, Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption by Scott Simon. It is Simon's account of how he and his wife adopted two girls from China. It includes stories from other adoptive parents and children as well.
We met with the caseworker from our Colorado agency to do the homestudy update. That's all done and we're waiting for our criminal background clearance to take place before that's all accepted.
We're dealing with a lot of looming paperwork. That's been difficult. I'm of the personality that I have a goal and I just want it all done. Having something hanging over my head is difficult. But, we're slowly but surely getting it done.
This past weekend Mike and I went to a weekend intensive workshop at the California agency. It was good to spend some time with my family during our trip.
The first day of the workshop was difficult. Mike had flown into San Diego the night before and neither one of us slept well. We then got up early and headed out from my parents' house to go to the agency in LA. It was a long day and we addressed many things that we'd already dealt with doing our foster parent training.
The second day of the workshop was so much better! We had a same sex couple who just adopted a baby girl who was ten weeks old come and speak to us about their experience. Then there was a woman who is a birthmother who placed her child for adoption about 8 years ago. It was really nice to hear stories from both perspectives.
We were given by the California agency two books to read. One is Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff. I finished reading it this morning. It is about a caucasian, Jewish couple who adopted an African-Mexican-American baby boy. It was a wonderful book that I highly recommend. There are comments from readers who are adoptive parents, biological parents, birthparents, and psychologists. I think it was raw, honest, and supportive of adoption without dismissing the challenges faced by adoption or transracial adoption. The second book that we were given to read is Children of Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner. I will start reading that perhaps tomorrow.
This has been a difficult time. I am feeling overwhelmed. I went from not working at all to beginning a Masters of Music Education program through Boston University online, giving private voice and piano lessons, teaching those at a music lesson studio, involved in two choirs, teaching a vocal workshop, filling out adoption paperwork, and of course housework (which I'm never good at letting go). I've come to the conclusion though that I'm glad that I'm really busy rather than having a lot of time on my hands. I think I'd go crazy with the anticipation and anxiety of waiting for a child if I didn't have things to keep me busy.
It's tough too seeing so many family and friends expecting babies. I'm so happy for them and do not want to deprive them of this amazing, incredible, and joyful time and experience. Yet when you are experiencing infertility and so desperately want to be a mother, it's difficult to see. When we were doing our foster parent training, we took a newborn care class at the hospital. It was so difficult to be in that room filled with women 8 or 9 months pregnant and think of all the things we'll miss out on by not having a child through natural means: pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, etc.
The next step is to finish that lingering paperwork. I went into the doctor yesterday to have her fill out the medical evaluation I needed. Mike and I are going to work on our dear birthparent letter this weekend as I've heard it can take a few months going back and forth with revisions. I'm starting to collect pictures of us as a couple, with family and friends, and with children (especially our awesome nieces and nephew). If any of you have any pictures like that that you think I might not have copies of, please feel free to e-mail them to me.
I'm including in this post two pictures. One is of my family during this last weekend. The other is of me and Mike with two of our nieces. These will definitely go in our profile.
L - R: Riley, Mike, Hope, and Kristin
L - R: Mike, Kristin, Janet, David, Hope, Holly, John, and Riley
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