Children Will Listen

I inherited a hatred and impatience for inanimate objects.  I am told my Grandpa Megill possessed this trait.  I find myself to be more patient with people than inanimate objects.  The worst offenders are clothes hangers and plastic wrap!  There are times when I can physically do something, but I hand it over to my hubby who will complete the task with a more level head.  My mother-in-law also lovingly teases me about my frustration with being short, trying to reach things on a high shelf, and everything tumbling down on me.  HATE it!

A few days ago, my 2 year old daughter was trying to open spray bottles I use on her hair.  I was observing her, intending to stop her if she was successful in opening the bottles.  All of a sudden, she exclaimed, "Oh, come on!  Don't do that!"

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Children will listen.  Luckily, any more severe words coming out of my mouth due to frustration with inanimate objects have taken place out of earshot of my daughter.

What have you caught your kiddo saying that they learned from you?

My Name is Kristin, and I'm a Trader Joe's Addict!

I am NOT at all being paid to write this post!  I sincerely LOVE Trader Joe's!

I grew up in southern California, where Trader Joe's are very prevalent.  While living in Redlands, California, I shopped at two grocery stores each week, Trader Joe's, and a more streamline grocery store.  I was unable to acquire all of my grocery needs at only one of them.

In 2009, my husband's job brought us to Colorado.  We lived in Colorado for 4 1/2 years before Trader Joe's opened in Colorado.  One obstacle for Trader Joe's coming to Colorado was the Colorado liquor laws.  Liquor is not sold in grocery stores here as it is in California.

During those 4 1/2 years without a Trader Joe's, I refused to shop at Whole Foods, otherwise referred to as Whole Paycheck.  A musician without a full-time job, we did not at all have the income for me to spend that kind of money.  I made about 3 trips there the entire 4 1/2 years without Trader Joe's for things I just could not find at the streamline grocery stores.

February, 2014, Trader Joe's opened in Colorado with stores in Boulder and Denver.  We live in Thornton, pretty equidistant between these two cities.  Even though Denver is the only Trader Joe's in Colorado that sells the liquor, Mike and I used to live in Boulder and know my way around well, the Boulder location has a better parking lot, and traffic is usually better that direction.  I did wait about 3 months after the store opened before I braved a shopping trip.  My daughter was also born in March, 2014, and I was in mama of newborn hibernation mode.  The crowds at the store were making a lot of press.

As a busy mama of a toddler, it is not as easy to make the 35 minute drive each way to the Trader Joe's in Boulder as I would like.  Between my daughter's school schedule, naps, meal preparation, and my teaching schedule, I make it to Trader Joe's about once a month.  I made a trip to Trader Joe's in Boulder this morning.  I realized the last time I had made a trip there was the beginning of May.

I about had a heart attack with the receipt shock.  $244!  I had to remind myself that spread over a month, that is not bad.  It also means I buy less at the streamline grocery store on my weekly grocery runs.  I mostly buy frozen items, or items with far off expiration dates.  I also make notes in my phone of what I have on hand so I can add it to meal planning over the following month.

What do I get?  This is not my complete list, but the following are some of my favorite items.

• ground beef (can be frozen, and at $4.99 a lb., cheaper than the streamline stores 
• whole milk yogurt cups (My daughter's FAVORITE!  She cries when the cup is empty.)
• frozen chicken teriyaki (serve with steamed broccoli and rice)
• frozen fruit for my morning smoothies (much CHEAPER than the streamline grocery store.  I like the mango chunks, raspberries, and strawberries).
• black Irish Breakfast tea
• Giant Peruvian Inca Corn (so addictive!)
• jalapeno artichoke dip
• string cheese (so much CHEAPER than the streamline grocery store, and my daughter gobbles it up!)
• trail mix
• Next to Godliness lavender chamomile soap (My dad is allergic to sodium laurel sulfate, present in most soaps.  I use this hand soap on a daily basis, and am all ready for his visits.)
• frozen turkey meatballs
• frozen battered halibut fish (meant for fish tacos!)
• General Tsao's stir fry sauce (YUMMY with cornstarch coated and stir fried chicken and veggies)
• red thai curry sauce (delicious with either tofu or chicken, spinach, pineapple, and onions)
• masala curry simmer sauce
• precooked and refrigerated turkey breast (One day before the Colorado T.J's opened, I asked my hubby for any grocery requests or needs.  He said, "We haven't had that turkey for a long time."  I had to reply, "That's because I used to get it at Trader Joe's!  :(
• pollo asado or carne asada (to throw on the grill for a yummy taco bar)

Trader Joe's has been a wonderfully healthy and frugal alternative for grocery shopping for me.  I wish they would open a store in Thornton, of course, but I love Boulder and never mind spending time there.

ODE TO TRADER JOE'S:
Your parking lot sucks, and you suck all my money out of me, but I sure do LOVE you!

Honoring Your Adopted Child's Ethnic Heritage

When my hubby and I were pursuing creating our family through adoption, we were in definitive agreement that we would welcome a child of a different race or ethnicity.  To us, a child not physically looking like us in NO way meant that child was any less ours.  I am PROUD to be not just a mama, but Mama specifically to Rose.

Our almost 2-year-old daughter is actually of Filipino descent.  My dad LOVES that he has this dark haired granddaughter among the sea of blonde hair of his other three granddaughters.  My mom gifted me a book about Filipino celebrations.  I plan on including Rose in together deciding how we as a family can recognize and celebrate some of the events.

This has not always been an easy situation.  I have never minded family or friends asking me of Rose's ethnicity.  However, a random stranger kindly opening a door for us and asking, "Where is she from?" stings.  Not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed.  Not in the least!  What bothers me is their bluntness regarding an intimate (not private or secret) subject.  What business is it of yours?  A random stranger. I am still in search of a quick, witty, smart-ass but still polite response.

I have heard that some adoptees in transracial adoptions feel like they do not belong to either their birth or adoption ethnicity.  Rose is still young, and I can not promise that we will never have any questions or issues regarding this subject, but here are some things we're doing to teach her of her ethnicity.

1) We share photos and stories of her birth family, and have frequent FaceTime conversations.

2) We remind her of her beauty and acceptance every day.

3) When someone comments of her beauty, we openly give credit to her birtthmama and her beauty.

4) We speak of her Filipino ethnicity with nothing but respect.

5) I have started to try to cook some Filipino recipes.

The first recipe I tried was Chicken Adobo,  I served it with rice and steamed artichoke.  I've included the link to the recipe I found online, and a photo of the end result.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/filipino-chicken-adobo-recipe.html

Rose gobbled it up!  I have received some suggestions of dishes go try in the future.  I look forward to trying them.

I welcome ideas for other ways in which to teach, honor, and respect a child's ethnicity in a transracial adoption.  If you are an parent in a transracial adoption, what kinds of things do you do to recognize and celebrate your child's ethnicity and heritage?

Happy Adoption Day!

Today, November 6, 2015 marks the one year anniversary of the finalization of Rose's adoption.  I have been an emotional mess all day long!  Last night I made a poster of a couple photos from Rose's adoption day for her to take in to school.

I spent this morning baking cupcakes and listening to John McCuthcheon's Happy Adoption Day song.  Rose was quite confused as we listened to the song this morning over breakfast and the tears were streaming down my face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjFD5Q6G7zI

Mike came home from work and Rose, Mike, and I had a cupcake party followed by some time in my music studio dancing to music.

Words don't give the significance of this anniversary its due importance.  Rose made us a family the day she was born, but the legal finalization of her adoption allowed me to breathe an enormous sigh of relief that it was all for real.  Her birth made us a family, but her adoption day made us a forever family.

Happy Adoption Day, my sweet Rosebud!  Love, Mama

Happy Second Birthday, Russell!

Today, March 27, 2015, marks the second birthday of Russell Alan, the child we lost to a failed adoption.  This is a day of remembrance, grief, and celebration.  Russell was born at home on March 27, 2013, and ambulanced to the hospital.  We had checked into our time share condo for a couple days away for Mike's spring break when we got the call that we had been chosen to be parents.  After almost three weeks, the birth father had been contacted, and chose to parent the baby.  We suffered the loss similar to the death of a child.

The following are newborn photos of us with Russell.  Photos by Olivia Navarro Photography.

As mentioned before, I will probably always be processing the fact that if we hadn't experienced the loss of Russell, we would not have our beautiful and amazing daughter, Rose!  Rose turned one year old on March 6th, and is the light of our life!  I can't imagine life without her.  She is our beautiful, smart, sweet, happy, strong, and determined little girl!  Words can not express the gratitude, love, and appreciation for her birth mother for giving us the greatest gift in the world, that of parenthood.

Rose on March 26, 2015 on the swing in our back yard

After an overwhelming day yesterday of grocery shopping, food prep, cleaning up the kitchen, and teaching a piano lesson, Mike suggested I get a morning off today.  Mike's on spring break.  I've given him some opportunities to sleep in, and he offered me a rare opportunity for me to do the same.  This morning I slept in until 7:30 a.m.!  Yay!  I then went on a run by myself.  It felt AMAZING, both physically and emotionally.  The tears of grief streamed down my face along the home stretch of my run.

 Here is a photo taken during a walking bread on this morning's run.

I had been meaning to take a trip to a used clothing store to get some clothes for Rose.  It was the plan that the three of us would go together today, but Mike suggested I could do the shopping trip solo.  The store is just far enough away that it's not at all easy for me to make trips there.  In this year since Rose was born, this would be only my second trip to the store. 

I got a GREAT deal!  I got some clothes for $1, and some things were buy 2 get 1 free.  I bought some 18 month clothes, 24 month clothes, and 2T clothes, all for a total of $153!  Tomorrow Mike has offered to help me do some clothes and closet organization.

18 month clothes

24 month clothes

2T clothes

I then came home after Mike had fed Rose lunch.  I put her down for a nap, ate lunch myself, and started a load of laundry.  As I stayed home with napping Rose, Mike went off to our taxes appointment and then off to a night of Magic the Gathering.

I started dinner of spaghetti squash and homemade marinara sauce in the crock pot.  I got the idea from a post on the blog of another adoptive mama.  The link to her blog and the recipe can be found here:  http://www.catchingupwithkate.com/spaghetti-squash-slow-cooker/    I am NOT a fan of jarred pasta sauces.  Most of them have too much sugar.  Instead, I used just chopped Roma tomatoes, a little olive oil, garlic, fresh basil, fresh oregano, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

As I write, Rose is still asleep with a LONG afternoon nap.  Tonight as Mike is at Magic I plan to work on my furniture repurposing project.  Stay tuned for a blog post about the project with before and after photos.

Let it Go!

 Ok, I know that "Let it Go!" has been heard a lot lately with the popularity of Disney's Frozen.  When I say it, I am not referring to the movie.  This saying does not directly relate to our adoption journey, but it does relate to how I want to live my life and be remembered by my daughter.

I have always been one who is very neat and ordered.  When growing up, I had a Fischer Price castle, hospital, and Sesame Street house, complete with nurses, Big Bird, etc.  I was insanely disturbed when these toys were passed down to my younger sister and she would place Big Bird in the hospital, or the princess from the castle appeared in the Sesame Street house.

My dad has always been impressed that I have had the ability to make wherever I was seem so homey and cute.  From my first dorm room in Santa Cruz, to a small studio apartment in Baltimore, to my first small starter home.  I've never felt like my home was set up until photos and art work were hung on the walls.  I remember when I bought and moved into my first home on a Sunday, I stayed up Tuesday night until 3 a.m. Wednesday morning to set up my kitchen.  Boy, was I a teacher short on patience the next day.  Sorry, kiddos.

When Mike and I were first married, I was teaching full time, doing all the cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, and the majority of the yard work.  I admit that early on in my marriage I did not know how to ask my hubby for help.  I would wait until I would get so overwhelmed and frustrated that I would lash out at the poor guy.  Who wants to help when his wife goes all psycho on him?!  Mike, poor guy, was a graduate student who had been renting a room within a house before we were married.  He didn't use the kitchen, and ate fast food for every meal.  He just did not seem to notice housework that needed to be done, and I foolishly expected him to read my mind.  I also have a much lower dirt threshold than he does.  He has always been willing to pick something up or clean it when it bothers him, but I can't stand to let it get to that point.

Now almost nine and a half years into our marriage, I have gotten a lot better about when and how I ask Mike for help with something around the house.  I have had to realize that if I ask him to do something, it has to be done on his time table, and not mine.  That means that it will be done a lot later than I would like, and that has to be ok.  If there is a deadline for something, I have figured out to give him plenty of notice, so he knows the deadline, but can do the task whenever it works for his schedule.  We've also gotten so much better about checking in with each other about needs and wishes for the evenings and weekends, so we're more aware of what needs to be done.

I still have to admit a HUGE personality flaw on my part.  I can't stand things not being ordered or clean.  This was so difficult when we moved into our current house shortly before working on my final project for my Masters of Music.  Getting everything unpacked and put in order was such a deep need of mine that I had trouble focusing on my final project.

This has always been a frustration for me.  I can rationalize the fact that I need to let cleaning and housework go, especially with a baby.  There are so many other things that are important than having a perfectly clean kitchen floor!  Yet, I have always been one who does not allow myself to sit and practice the piano or violin, crochet, read, watch a movie, or other things I wish to do, when I know for example there is a collection of clean and dry laundry on the clothesline in our laundry closet, dishes in the dishwasher need to be unloaded.

I admit that in between diaper changes, feedings, and nap schedules, it has been difficult to get out of the house with a young infant.  My daughter almost 11 months old now, I am finding myself coming out of the bubble that is being a mama to a young baby.  I do not want Rose to think that you can't go to the park because there are dishes in the sink. 

I am not saying that I have to keep a dirty and disordered house.  I would NEVER allow that to happen!  What I am trying to make a conscious effort to do, is to relax and let it go.  These things need to be done, and they will get done.  I need to allow myself to tackle the tasks within a timeframe that is humanly possible, and not attempt to do five things in the amount of time I should expect myself to conquer one task.  Mike has long joked that my to-do list for one day would be his to-do list for two months.  He says that the second I find my To Do list is low, instead of enjoying that freedom and taking the time to relax, I pile more things on my plate.  I try to do way too much each and every day!  At the age of 40, I have been frustrated by this for atleast 20 years.  When will I ever learn?!

I have always been someone who worries that it is thought that I don't work hard enough.  This was especially apparent when I stopped working full time in order to focus on my music career, my Masters of Music, and the process of adoption.  I was so worried that it would be thought that I was a lazy bon bon eating housewife and loaf of a musician and housewife.  NEVER have I felt pressure from Mike to have the house in perfect order.  He would be totally understanding if I was too busy composing one day to make dinner, or I hadn't done that load of dark laundry that could be done.  I PUT THE PRESSURE ON MYSELF.  I need to LET IT GO!

Adoption Day and Rose's First Christmas!

Adoption Day and First Christmas!

I feel poorly that I haven't written in a long while.  So much has happened since my last post.  Here's a bit of a catch up.  Rose is now almost 10 months old.  She's doing so well!  She's crawling, pulling herself up, and standing.  We had a tough month when teething threw a wrench into our sleep.  Our champ sleeper was waking up crying and upset.  Her first two bottom teeth are now in and she's resumed her champ sleeping habits!  I unfortunately can not remember who gifted it to her, but she has a cloth doll that I finally dug out of the toy bin in her closet.  For a few nights and naps she was crawling off of her low mattress on the floor to the shelf and getting her doll.  We decided that she was trying to tell us that she wanted to sleep with the doll, so we now put her down to sleep for naps and the night with the doll.  She's getting into things she shouldn't, lights up our days with her smiles and laughter, and is a beautiful, happy, strong, smart, sweet, and determined baby.

ADOPTION DAY!
The biggest event was the finalization of Rose's Adoption.  The finalization of Rose's adoption took place on Thursday, November 6th, the day she turned eight months old.  My parents and Mike's mother were here for the occasion.  I was frustrated because the court changed the time of the hearing and then the night before, I received an e-mail wanting to change the time yet again.  I had people to coordinate with, rides and cars to organize, and the court was not right around the corner.  When to leave, getting there, etc. was going to take some planning.  OK, I admit it; I am a planner.  I was so incredibly anxious with the multiple and last minute change of time.

The actual hearing took about 5 minutes.  I remember feeling so incredibly disappointed with the brevity of the event.  It just did not at all seem to reflect the importance and sentiment of the occasion.  Yet, it happened, and that is the important part.

11/6/2014: Rose's adoption day!

The day after the finalization I was absolutely EXHAUSTED!  I believe it was the fact that this day was the culmination of a five year journey to become parents, including fostering Little D. and a failed adoption and losing Russell.  Too, the stress of the changing time and organizing the day wiped me out.

That weekend we hosted an open house party in celebration of Rose's adoption and her baptism, which was set for the following day.  Our house was filled with people who have loved us and seen us through this journey.  I felt incredibly blessed!


Later that month we celebrated Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins.  We had so much to be grateful for!

ROSE'S FIRST CHRISTMAS

As is our tradition, Mike and I made and decorated some homemade sugar cookies.  I remember three years ago, I had an emergency appendectomy on December 15th.  I was not up to making sugar cookies that year.  Mike, missing the tradition (and the cookies), went and picked up a bag mix of sugar cookies.  He mixed them up and we sat on the couch with a table in front of us and A Christmas Story on tv and decorated cookies.  He then announced that they were nothing compared to my yummy homemade cookies.  So, we make it a point to make homemade sugar cookies every year.  As you can see, Rose was more interested in the clicking of the camera timer than helping to cut out cookies.  ;)

Yesterday we celebrated Rose's first Christmas!  What a wonderful day!  We celebrated at home, just the three of us that morning, opening gifts and just being together.  Rose received gifts from us, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and her birth family.  Here are some picture highlights.

 Here is a photo of Rose inspecting the box of Christmas prezzies from her birth mother and family.

 I waited so long to be able to hang our child's stocking for Christmas.  My mom made these stockings for all of us and Rose was gifted another stocking by a friend of mine.

 One of the gifts in Rose's stocking was a cloth photo album including photos of our family and Rose's birth family.

 I know the photo's blurry, but I love the smile on Rose's face as she holds a stuffed owl from her birth aunt.

A family Christmas photo

My aunt and uncle who live nearby came over for Christmas dinner.  Our dinner included homemade sourdough rolls.  Moving to higher altitude of Colorado has thrown a wrench in some of my baking, but I got this recipe from a high altitude baking cookbook my mom gifted me a couple years ago.  I started the process three days before Christmas with the yeast starter.

WHOLEGHAN

Growing up, Mike and his family had several  afghans.  One of them was quite large.  They began referring to the large one as a wholeghan and the smaller ones as halfghans.  A few years ago he asked me to crochet him a wholeghan.  I dragged him to the store with me to choose the colors.  Well, three years in the making, I furiously worked to finish his wholeghan for his Christmas gift this year.  I did it!  Here is a photo of my very tall hubby wrapped up in his wholeghan.

A WHITE CHRISTMAS

We did get a white Christmas this year!  It started snowing around 3 p.m.  It was beautiful to be warm inside with the Christmas lights, warm drink and food, and the snow falling.  It did take my aunt and uncle a while to get home though because of the slick roads.  We don't usually get enough here where it accumulates or sticks around long enough.  We have a south facing driveway, so we don't often have to shovel, but we got enough snow and are expecting cold and even negative temps in the next few days that Mike shoveled the driveway this afternoon.

PLAYING GAMES

Playing games is a big tradition of ours every holiday.  This year Mike gave me the game of Mancala for Christmas.  After the dishes were washed and put away, the kitchen cleaned up, and Rose was in bed, Mike and I sat by the fire and played some Mancala.  We had actually seen Rose's birth mother and sister playing the game the last time we video chatted with them a couple weeks ago.  It's a fun game.  In this pic, Mike was winning!

We hope for you that this holiday season and new year are filled with love, joy, and peace.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  I will try to post more often as we approach Rose's first birthday in March.